Choosing an Officiant
In the past choosing a minister to perform the wedding vows was apparent to everyone based on the commonality of religions. Now it seems more acceptible for people to marry outside their particluar belief system, which sometimes leads to a little confusion on who will officiate the ceremony. Some want a spiritually meaningful ceremony but not too sentimental. Others prefer something a bit more personal than a civil service
.
In America, the state and the church are the two authorities dictating the content of a wedding ceremony. Anyone getting married in the United States must comply with the laws of the particular state in which they are being wed. Check with local town hall or city clerk to find out what the specific laws are in your state. If they choose to marry in a church there are also certain guidelines that apply as well which they can find out from their clergy.
Just because a person calls themselves a Protestant, Catholic, Buddhist or Muslim does not mean that person is a devout believer. A lot are, but the point is some have drifted away from the religion of their youth and are caught up in the religious preferences of family members and in the effort to please others, lose track of what they really want in their wedding.
It's alright if you include religious messages in your ceremony or you don't, all I'm suggesting here is have a valid reason either way.
There are simply more options these days as to who you can choose as your officiant.
Some pastors, priests and rabbi's require pre-marital counselling and if you cannot or will not fulfill this you will find yourself looking for someone else to officiate your ceremony. One option is to use the services of a interfaith minister with whom you can customize the ceremony to your own beliefs. Some are Christian interfaith ministers, while others honor all religious and
spiritual traditions, while yet others will perform outside of the context of a church. They will be harder to locate due to the fact they are not affiliated with a congregation or church building. Bridal consultants or Wedding coordinators in your area can assist you in finding a local interfaith minister.
When you do locate a person willing to work with you, don't be afraid to ask questions, such as are they flexible and creative, are they open to suggestions about the vows, what role do they usually take concerning the rehersal and fees - flat rate or extra for traveling. Remember this is YOUR wedding, a time for you to enjoy and relish the rest of you life. The officiant is there to enhance the ceremony so you should feel comfortable around him or her
By Bob Ragman. For a free e-book and video goto
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